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octobre 2014

The WHATEVER, DUDE Guide to Surviving Your Two Year-Old

Priss & Vinegar

IMG_8574Two in a nutshell.

I’ve lost track of how many readers have asked for advice about two year-olds, because, well, two year-olds. Two is the heart of toddlerhood and the noisy swan song of babyhood. It’s no wonder parents dread it so.

But you guys, seriously, two isn’t that bad. (And I made it harder on myself by adding a newborn to the mix.) Looking at it in the rearview, the infamy of two year-olds really does seem undeserved. They still nap regularly; they’re ADORABLE; and they’re getting smarter but are still just dumb enough to fall for your parenting tricks (« Oh, look! A firetruck! »)

This is not to say that two is easy: it can be angsty and embarrassing and messy and infuriating, but more than anything else, it’s FRUSTRATING. Frustrating that they dawdle on the way to school, frustrating that they want to wear insane mismatched outfits, frustrating that they just can’t sit…

Voir l’article original 262 mots de plus

Interview: Simon Rich on Guilt, Humor Writing, and Being the Worst Person Ever

Longreads

Jessica Gross | Longreads | Oct. 2014 | 17 minutes (4,290 words)

By the time Simon Rich graduated from Harvard, where he served as president of the Harvard Lampoon, he had a two-book deal from Random House. Less than a decade later, the humorist has written four short story collections and two comic novels. He also spent four years writing for Saturday Night Live (he was the youngest writer SNL ever hired) and about two years at Pixar, and is now at work on a film and a television series.

Rich’s level of productivity, impressive as it is, takes a backseat to the quality of his humor writing. His stories are crystalline, eccentric, and universally hilarious. Many of the stories in his new collection, Spoiled Brats are built on an unusual premise, or told from a surprising angle. In « Animals, » a hamster narrates his wretched existence as a…

Voir l’article original 4 058 mots de plus

Love Poems are a Dime a Dozen

Wine and Cheese (Doodles)

i write this
blind no experience
no background. write without
the benefit of stanza
verse or prozac. i

write to you:
a thousand words of
poetic translation ultimate
frustration. without bending
or melting myself into
color sound or feeling. without
hiding behind pretty metaphors
or white and glossy symbols. this

is not a poem of bread crumbs:
it will not does not can not
lead you anywhere beyond a now;
beyond a you, beyond an i.

it would be easy to
give you a treasure map that
would lead you along red veins
until you reached the gold X
of memory or to describe the hiss
of steam from your fingerprints
splaying across skin. it would be
simple to fill a page with
silk and syrup…..but

this poem is blind deaf dumb to
that: passionless but slow steady
dripping with want of understanding. it
lacks the juice of early morning kisses

Voir l’article original 213 mots de plus

Amanda Bynes, Robin Williams, and the Spectacle of Mental Illness

Let's Queer Things Up!

Internet, we need to have a talk.

I’ve had a number of readers ask why I’ve neglected to write about Amanda Bynes this last year. It’s simple, really. I don’t believe that celebrities are “fair game,” and that, when they have very human and very difficult struggles, I should capitalize on those things by writing an article, however well-intentioned. I believe they are deserving of privacy and respect, by virtue of their being people.

However, I’m making an exception here, because in the midst of the negative and callous press that Bynes has received, I think it’s time we had a chat about it from a different perspective. And then, after we’re done, I think it’s time we stop speculating about it altogether. Deal?

First and foremost, there is no way for us to know what, if anything, Bynes has been diagnosed with. The family has denied schizophrenia and bipolar…

Voir l’article original 1 157 mots de plus

Storms and Blue Skies / A Dirty Little Secret…

James Radcliffe

This post is about part of the creative process that I seldom, if ever, see discussed.  Probably because it’s unpleasant.  Probably because it doesn’t make for good copy.  Probably, because it is not shiny.

This post is about the dirty little secret that underpins all creative endeavour.

Would you like to know what it is?

Let me tell you a story…

Voir l’article original 903 mots de plus

Thirty-something

My journey, from wine lover to sober and happy...

It was my birthday a couple of days ago; thirty-nine, the final one of my thirties. The decade began with a party at my old house; a little terraced two up, two down, that I bought upon the end of my short-lived marriage. My thirtieth birthday bash was a fancy dress do, the theme being ‘1970s debauchery’. At the start of the evening there was a power cut and my then six-year-old daughter shone a torch on my face in a blackened bedroom as I applied my make-up and set in place a sleek, bright pink wig. An hour later, fairy lights twinkled in celebration of the electricity supply returning, the music grew louder and the booze began to flow. By midnight I was lying in my bed, a bucket strategically positioned adjacent to my head to capture a seemingly never-ending stream of vomit as my guests continued to party…

Voir l’article original 694 mots de plus

In the Heat of the Moment

Shelley Sackier

There are moments when you feel the stars align and the gods have smiled down upon you, and then there are the moments when you’re actually awake.

041014leemarvin (800x760)

This week has been an exercise in staying off the “She’s gone postal” bulletin. I’m sure it’s not been pleasant for anyone around me, despite my epic efforts to remain sane and calm and far away from a loaded shotgun.

It all began with a tiny glitch in the air conditioning.

041014glitches (787x800)

The “glitch” was that it stopped working. And I’m sure everyone is perfectly aware of the chapter in the manual that states all A.C. glitches will occur at precisely the moment when previously unseen record blowing heat waves sweep across your area and stall atop your house. This is a given.

041014heatwaves (800x708)

Fueled by an inordinate amount of optimism, I brush it off and call the repair fellah who kindly comes three days later…

Voir l’article original 1 020 mots de plus

It’s Not a Shrine or Anything

Dear Doctor

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