Milk & Whiskey

We may have touched on this a time or two, but my mom is a goddamned liar. I mean that in the nicest way possible, but that lady can tell a whopper before she even realizes she’s talking.

My husband knows this better than most.

I will accost him with some new and interesting piece of information like, « Hey, Did you know that pine nuts actually come from inside pine cones? That pine tree in our backyard is lousy with pine nuts. I can make pesto! From our TREE! »

To which my husband will reply, « Did your mother tell you that? Because you know she lies. »

Every. Single. Time. And he’s right, gallingly enough (though not about the tree. I got that shit from a book).

When mom was in school, she told a handful of people that her sister had a metal plate in her head. There had been a terrible accident…

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