Mightier Than The Pen

milkshake Forest Park, Ohio, April 29 – Residents of this Cincinnati suburb reported disturbances this morning after a local woman made a milkshake and began drinking it in her front yard.

Kelly Rogers, 19, of Fairborn Avenue, put chocolate ice cream and milk into blender at about 7:25 AM Tuesday. Neighbors soon felt the ground rumbling, as thousands of young men, some as young as twelve, streamed onto the street and crowded into and around the Rogers property, apparently to watch Ms. Rogers consume the liquid breakfast.

The crowd continued to grow for almost an hour, according to Denise Jefferson, who lives several houses away. « We felt the earth shake, and then it just kept shaking until maybe 8:30, I don’t know, » she told reporters. « There must’ve been thousands of guys here, but they disappeared almost as soon as they showed up. » She noted that once Ms. Rogers had finished drinking her shake…

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